“It was only until I started to be myself that the music started to flow and people started to listen,\u201d said British singer Sam Smith, who just landed the trifecta at this years Grammy’s with best\u00a0record of the year, best song of the year and best new artist! \u00a0It makes sense, but it begs the question, why did Sam, and why do so many people find it hard to be themselves?<\/p>\n
Because we like to belong and be liked!<\/p>\n
We human beings are wired with a deep desire to belong. Likewise, we’re instinctively driven to\u00a0avoid acting in ways\u00a0that put us at risk of being criticized, left out, or pushed out of the pack. It\u2019s just how we\u2019re made! While there is nothing inherently wrong about wanting to be liked, too often we let our fear of what other people may think keep us from expressing ourselves fully. That fear keeps us from embracing what makes us different\u00a0and from forging our own path, even if it veers away from\u00a0the one others expect us to walk.<\/p>\n
I recently had the pleasure of meeting a woman named Carly Findlay, who was born with the rare skin condition Ichthyosis<\/span> that makes her look quite different to most people.\u00a0 During our conversation for RawCourage.TV<\/a> we talked about the importance of embracing what makes us\u00a0unique \u2013 whether it be an aspect of our physical appearance, a personality trait, our past (complete with its wrong turns – we all<\/em> make them), our passions, our dreams and\u00a0our preferences (sexual or otherwise).<\/p>\n Too often we can let our fear of what other people may think<\/strong> We live in a world that pressures us to conform – to a certain way of looking,\u00a0leading and living. Which is why it takes courage to make ourselves\u00a0vulnerable to criticism or outright rejection.\u00a0The irony\u00a0is that the less you strive to have\u00a0people like and respect you, the more they do (ask Sam Smith!) Likewise, as you live your life more authentically, you attract more authentic people and build more authentic relationships. Not only that,\u00a0you embolden others to lay down their masks, embrace their uniqueness and live more truthfully also. What a gift!<\/p>\n \u201cToo often we let people define us,” Carly said to me as she shared how\u00a0people so often react to her appearance. Which is why each of us<\/span>\u00a0must each take full responsibility for defining ourselves, writing the story of our own lives – the narrative about who<\/em> we are and\u00a0what<\/em> we are capable of doing.<\/p>\n Of the 7 billion people on our planet, there is no-one just like you. Only\u00a0when you own all of who you are can you – and others –\u00a0come to\u00a0know just how\u00a0magnificent that person is!<\/p>\n As Dr Suess so wisely said, “<\/span>Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n\n
\n keep us from expressing ourselves fully.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n