Like Sandberg, since as young as I can remember I was called bossy. As a big sister of seven, I was forever telling (i.e. assertively coaching) my siblings what they needed to do, and not letting them off the hook until they did it (i.e. managing accountability.) Then as\u00a0one of only fifteen students in a small rural Australian school, my assertive streak only grew stronger. Those who knew me could count on me to take charge. When they called me bossy, it felt\u00a0more like a compliment than criticism.<\/p>\n
On arriving at high school I quickly learned that I was far from “the boss” but I\u2019d become so practiced at taking the lead I continued to do so whenever the opportunity arose. By my final year, I was appointed a prefect.<\/p>\n
Of course over the ensuing decades I have learned that there is a distinct difference between being someone who is able to coordinate a sandcastle playoff and someone who throws sand in the faces of anyone who doesn\u2019t fall immediately into line. \u00a0Which is why I can\u2019t help but wonder if instead of banning the term bossy, we should actually embrace it.\u00a0 (It seems to have worked out pretty well for Beyonce!) \u00a0Just as trying to ban alcohol during the prohibition sent it underground, by trying to ban a word we actually give it more power to wound. Would it not serve girls better to help them build greater resilience so that being called bossy simply bounced off, enabling them to stand tall as the tenacious and talented young women they are? \u00a0Not with conceit, but with the self-confidence required to \u00a0lean in and lead.<\/p>\n
![\"Embrace-bossy\"](\"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/Embrace-bossy.png\")
<\/a>By embracing bossy, I’m not encouraging young women \u2013 or anyone<\/em> \u2013 to be bossy as far as the negative connotations associated with the word. Whether in the classroom or the boardroom, no one respects a person who acts in an arrogant, anti-social, abusive or disrespectful way. But having a fourteen-year-old daughter who is good at getting her three brothers into line when the need arises, I\u2019ve often used the term bossy in the same way my parents and grandparents used it with me. That is, as a means of acknowledging the behavior of someone who can take control of a situation when needed, isn\u2019t afraid to step up to the leaders plate, and can energetically rally a diverse group of people around a worthy cause.<\/p>\n