[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” da_disable_devices=”off|off|off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” da_is_popup=”off” da_exit_intent=”off” da_has_close=”on” da_alt_close=”off” da_dark_close=”off” da_not_modal=”on” da_is_singular=”off” da_with_loader=”off” da_has_shadow=”on”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”0px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
Ever sold yourself short?<\/p>\n
If you can think back to a moment you wished you\u2019d backed yourself more\u2014taken that chance, made the ask, leapt\u2014you\u2019re not alone.<\/p>\n
The truth is, most of us regret the\u00a0<\/span>risks we didn\u2019t take<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>far more than the ones we did. By a long shot. That cautious voice hammering \u201cWhat if\u2026?\u201d usually wins. And that\u2019s because we\u2019re lousy negotiators when it comes to our own lives. Not so much with others\u2014with\u00a0<\/span>ourselves<\/strong>. Especially with the person we’ve yet to become.<\/p>\n Why? Because your brain treats your future self like a total stranger. Let me explain.<\/p>\n Research by\u00a0<\/span>Peter H. Diamandis<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0<\/span>and\u00a0<\/span>Steven Kotler<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0<\/span>(detailed in their book\u00a0<\/span>The Future is Faster Than You Think<\/em>) found that that when we imagine our future selves, the part of your brain that lights up when you think about yourself starts to shut down. It’s the same reaction as when you ponder a complete stranger. And the farther into the future you go, the more cognitive effort is required and the alien you seem to yourself. No wonder we so often make shortsighted decisions and sell our future time so cheap\u2014we just can’t picture ourselves in it!<\/p>\n That’s why people struggle to save for retirement, ditch bad habits, or make tough calls today that pay off tomorrow. Our biased brains trick us into thinking the person who’ll reap the rewards (or suffer the discomfort) isn’t really us at all.<\/p>\n This neurological quirk teams up with what Harvard’s Daniel Gilbert calls the\u00a0<\/span>“end of history illusion”<\/strong><\/a>: We admit we’ve changed heaps in the past, but we massively underestimate how much we’ll transform in the future. We think we’ve already peaked as who we’ll be.<\/p>\n The fallout? We shortchange our future selves. We cling to safe choices that keep us in jobs that no longer fit, relationships we’ve outgrown, or lives that feel too small. I call this the “timidity tax.” It’s sneaky\u2014it doesn’t hit you now, but it racks up compound interest. Sticking with comfy today can leave you less secure, less fulfilled, and way more uncomfortable down the track. The irony?<\/p>\n In shielding ourselves from uncertainty now, we betray the person we’re evolving into.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n I once\u00a0<\/span>interviewed Richard Branson<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0<\/span>at a global leaders\u2019 retreat on his private Necker Island (yeah, tough gig, but someone had to do it). I\u2019d spent the afternoon kite surfing with him\u2014and nearly got blown to Cuba (slight exaggeration) but knowing he\u2019d once flown a hot air balloon across the Atlantic (and nearly died), I had to ask:\u00a0<\/span>Have your goals ever been too ambitious?\u00a0<\/span><\/em>He didn’t miss a beat before replying:<\/p>\n \u201cIf your goals aren\u2019t scaring you, they\u2019re too small for you.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Not gut-wrenching terror. Not paralysis. Just that,\u00a0<\/span>\u201cI’m-not-sure-I-can-pull-this-off\u201d<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>aliveness. That\u2019s the sweet spot – the gap between where you are now and where you could be if you made more consistent bets on yourself (present and future!) It\u2019s where your deepest potential lives, and where you make your greatest impact on others.<\/p>\n Look at history’s greatest leaders\u2014they pursued bold visions and chased big dreams that were no sure thing. Some thought they were too audacious. When Martin Luther King Jr. proclaimed “I have a dream,”<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>he wasn’t talking current reality. He was claiming a future that didn’t exist yet, but one he believed was worth fighting for. As I shared in a recent keynote speech (above), in doing so he stretched what everyone else thought possible and rallied a nation.<\/p>\n Yes, King\u2019s dream came at a cost. And no, not every dream was fully realized \u2014 not everyone is judged by the content of their character. But his life was profoundly\u00a0<\/span>worthy<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>because he refused to betray his future self.<\/p>\n You don’t need to seek to end racism or world hunger for your future self to high-five you. My family took on such a risk when we decided to\u00a0<\/span>climb Mt. Kilimanjaro<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0<\/span>– Africa’s tallest peak- at 19,341 feet\/5,895m. We had four teenagers then. Friends thought we’d gone mad. We lived at sea level; our “big” climbs were sand dunes, not summits. Odds of all six summiting? Slim.<\/p>\n But that wasn’t the goal. If we failed, it’d be a worthy failure\u2014one we’d never regret trying. Nine brutal hours from base camp, we all stepped onto the summit. Every one of us. Back at base camp, I learned our guides had placed bets we wouldn’t all make it. Huh! But that’s precisely the point: Only when you dare to do something that can feel, in the present, a little\u00a0<\/span>too<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>ambitious, can you discover how much you can actually do.<\/p>\n So, how do we over-ride our neurobiology? How do we stop treating our future selves like strangers and start casting a vote for the person we’re on our way to becoming? By building empathy. Don’t just vaguely daydream\u2014slow down, step in.\u00a0<\/span>Feel it.\u00a0<\/span><\/em>What does that life look like? What do you\u00a0<\/span>you<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>look like (enlist GenAI to create an image of you 20 years from now)? What makes you proud? What regrets did you dodge by getting brave today? This isn’t fluffy stuff. This is science applied to your life!<\/p>\n The more vividly and often you connect to the future version of yourself, the more real they become. And the harder it is to let them down.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n As leaders and change-makers, we should never underestimate our power to pivot, make changes and pursue challenges our future selves will thank us for. Bold goals, rooted in a big “why,” aren’t reckless in shaky times\u2014they’re vital. Like\u00a0<\/span>Ranjay Gulati<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0<\/span>says in his recent article for HBR,\u00a0<\/span>“Now is the Time For Courage!”<\/strong><\/a>:<\/p>\n When uncertainty is running high and our instinct urges us to grip harder to the familiar, courage is most essential\u2014and most rewarding.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n So\u2026 what\u2019s\u00a0<\/span>your<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>Courage Gap?<\/p>\n It\u2019s the space between what feels familiar today and the future that’s calling your name; between the person (and leader) you are right now and the one you have it within you to become (the one the people you care about most\u00a0<\/span>need<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>you to become.)<\/p>\n Let me leave you with three questions:<\/p>\nThe hidden ‘timidity tax’ compounds over time<\/h2>\n
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Risking ‘worthy failure’ honors your future self<\/h2>\n
Better decisions require empathy for your future self<\/h2>\n
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