<\/em><\/p>\n <\/span><\/p>\n Alex\u2019s decision that day shows that even the bravest among us\u2014those willing to risk their lives in the world\u2019s most dangerous places\u2014aren\u2019t immune to fear. But the fear that held him back wasn\u2019t of dying. It was the fear of losing face. Of looking weak. Of not belonging. Of being judged unworthy by those whose approval he sought. <\/span><\/p>\n When we\u2019re stuck in insecurity alleviation and impression management, we surrender the very strengths we\u2019re trying to prove. The more we chase approval, the more we abandon the courage that earns respect.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n Fear of social judgment wears many faces. Rarely does it appear as overt anxiety or panic. More often, it shows up in subtler forms: perfectionism, posturing, control, or compulsive busyness. On the flip side, it can show up as excessive humility, people-pleasing, or quiet compliance disguised as being a \u201cteam player\u201d. The irony is that when we are stuck in impression management – our fear of looking bad keeping us from speaking up or taking action –\u00a0 we surrender the very strengths we\u2019re trying to prove.<\/span><\/p>\n Having worked with many exceptionally talented leaders\u2014some of whom fit the mold of \u201cinsecure overachievers\u201d\u2014I\u2019ve seen how fear often hides behind intellectualized emotions and a relentless need to prove oneself. Research published in Psychological Science<\/em> found that status anxiety can significantly inhibit people from speaking up\u2014especially in hierarchical environments\u2014keeping them stuck in a cycle of insecurity alleviation<\/strong>. And the cost of silence in such moments can be far greater than the risk of voicing concern. Yet that \u201ctimidity tax\u201d is rarely obvious at the time. In our efforts to secure status with others, we must be careful not to betray ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n When Alex\u2019s team launched their rafts into the river, they were immediately overwhelmed by the sheer force of the water. Their raft capsized, plunging them into a violent, raging current just upstream from its most perilous stretch. Armed only with life jackets and survival instincts, they fought for their lives to avoid being dragged under the wild and unforgiving rapids.<\/span><\/p>\n At the bottom of the rapids, Alex and three of the other SEALs pulled themselves out of the river\u2014shaken, exhausted, but alive. Realizing their teammate Jason was missing, they began searching for him, eventually calling in a helicopter to assist. It would be three harrowing days before his body was found\u201420 miles downstream. Alex was the last person to see Jason alive. And the first to see him dead.<\/span><\/p>\n Alex\u2019s story runs through The Courage Gap<\/em><\/a> as a sobering reminder that courage isn\u2019t just about laying our lives on the line (which most of us will never be asked to do). More often, it\u2019s about laying our pride, reputation, and status on the line\u2014risking a bruised ego or disapproval in the eyes of those we\u2019re trying to impress. As I wrote in The Courage Gap<\/em><\/a>:<\/span><\/p>\n When we stay silent to belong, we betray ourselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n While Alex has since gone on to lead in other arenas, it\u2019s the courage he\u2019s shown far from war zones that I\u2019ve found most inspiring: the courage to reflect deeply, to confront the self-protective story he told himself after the tragedy, and to admit hard truths. The courage to make peace with his fallibility and embrace vulnerability as his deepest source of strength.<\/span><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”-17px||-17px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_video src=”https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=c096wboNGWw” _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_video][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.27.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n In a powerful and raw conversation on my Live Brave<\/em> podcast<\/a>, Alex and I unpacked how our unfaced fears\u2014particularly the fear of judgment and rejection\u2014often cost us far more than we realize. While most of us won\u2019t ever stand on the edge of roaring rapids, we\u2019ve all stood at decision points\u2014moments where the easier choice is silence, delay, or retreat, and the braver one is to speak up or step forward without a map or a guarantee. Fear widens the gap between what we know, deep down, we should do\u2014and what we actually do. It takes courage to close it.\u00a0<\/p>\n And here lies the paradox of courage:<\/p>\n In trying to avoid what we fear\u2014judgment, exclusion, criticism\u2014we often expose ourselves to worse consequences. What feels risky in the moment often prevents even greater risks in the future.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n The idea that fear holds us back isn\u2019t new. But we underestimate its reach or its cost. One study<\/a> found that 76% of people at work avoid conflict while a survey by CrucialLearning found that\u00a0nearly 75%<\/a> of employees regularly withhold concerns\u2014even when doing so could prevent major problems. It\u2019s why some of the biggest problems individuals and organizations face stem\u00a0not with what was said\u2014but with what wasn\u2019t \u2013 due to fear of how it would impact their status. As history shows, when fear governs decisions, it generally leads to worse outcomes over time.\u00a0<\/p>\n So what\u2019s the solution? It starts with us. Just as we are our greatest source of risk\u2014through what we ignore or deny\u2014we are also our greatest resource in overcoming it. That begins with being honest about where fear is pulling the strings and recommitting to the values we want to live and lead by. Every day.\u00a0<\/p>\n When fear of judgment governs our choices, we become complicit in the very outcomes we most want to avoid.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n The root of our biggest problems isn\u2019t that we don\u2019t know what to do. It\u2019s that we don\u2019t do what we know. The only way to close this courage gap<\/em>\u2014the space between knowing and doing\u2014is to become more committed to what we want to gain for ourselves and others than to what we fear we might lose in the process, including our place in the pack. Until we are, fear of looking bad will restrict our freedom to act\u2014and limit the good we might otherwise do. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is risk being misunderstood.<\/p>\n The more we practice courage\u2014a learnable skill\u2014the greater our capacity to take the emotional risks that bold leadership and meaningful lives require. Every time we refuse to betray our values to keep false peace or win approval and risk judgment to show up as the person (and leader) we most aspire to become, we reinforce our agency and loosen the shackles that hold us captive to others\u2019 opinions.<\/p>\n At a time when the pace of change is relentless and external threats\u2014GenAI, nuclear escalation, climate change\u2014feel increasingly existential, the greatest danger to our future isn\u2019t \u201cout there.\u201d It\u2019s within us<\/em>\u2014in our underdeveloped courage to confront these challenges head on and to risk what feels secure today for what could build a more secure tomorrow.<\/p>\n As Alex\u2019s story reminds us, when fear of judgment guides our decisions, we don\u2019t just undermine our integrity\u2014we gamble with the outcomes for others. History doesn\u2019t just turn on events; it turns on the courage\u2014or timidity\u2014of people facing them.<\/p>\n So wherever you find yourself playing it safe today, ask yourself:<\/p>\n What would I do if I wasn\u2019t afraid of being judged?<\/em><\/strong> Not every act of courage will change the world. But any single act of courage might shift the trajectory of your life \u2014or that of others. Perhaps more important, it will spare you the regret of wondering, \u201cBut what if I\u2019d tried?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n Alex knows that pain. Let his story be your call to courage.<\/p>\n Live bravely!<\/p>\n Margie<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Listen to my Live Brave<\/em> podcast conversation with Alex Here<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n Order The Courage Gap<\/em><\/a> to learn how you can make the right decisions in the moments that matter most Here<\/a>.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In 1995, a team of five Navy SEALs embarked on a high-risk mission in Venezuela to test a relatively unproven capability at the time\u2014navigating extreme rapids in inflatable boats. The theory was that rivers could serve as highways through rugged jungle terrain inaccessible by road. If SEALs could be parachuted into such environments in rafts, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":236153,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[39,84,142,184,208,234,377,628,805,852],"class_list":["post-236125","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-podcast","tag-action","tag-attitude","tag-bravery","tag-change","tag-comfort-zone","tag-courage","tag-fear","tag-margie-warrell","tag-purpose","tag-resilience"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/236125","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=236125"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/236125\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":236179,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/236125\/revisions\/236179"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/236153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=236125"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=236125"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=236125"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And what might it cost if I don\u2019t?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n