{"id":16793,"date":"2018-03-05T19:34:46","date_gmt":"2018-03-05T08:34:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/margiewarrellold.flywheelsites.com\/?p=16793"},"modified":"2018-03-05T19:34:46","modified_gmt":"2018-03-05T08:34:46","slug":"own-your-enoughness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/own-your-enoughness\/","title":{"rendered":"Own Your \u2018Enoughness&#8217;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I arrived back from an incredible few days in Tokyo with Google to kick off their <a href=\"https:\/\/www.womenwill.com\/#!?modal_active=none\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Womenwill<\/a> program. The mission of Womenwill is to elevate women around the world and leverage the technology to inspire and empower women economically and socially.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, there are many factors\u2014like inflexible workplace policies, unconscious bias and entrenched gender norms\u2014that contribute to what\u2019s known as the &#8216;gender gap&#8217;. However, one of the biggest challenges women face is simply believing in themselves and owning their own personal agency to affect change\u2014in themselves, in their workplaces, communities and the world at large.<\/p>\n<p>Part of what lays beneath this is a deep sense of inadequacy; a constant feeling that we need to be more of something in order to be <strong>enough<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>Not successful enough\u2026 organized enough\u2026confident enough\u2026 slim enough\u2026 talented enough\u2026 experienced enough\u2026 thoughtful enough&#8230; capable enough. If you\u2019re like many women I meet, you\u2019re probably pretty tough on yourself and often focus on what you haven\u2019t done, or didn\u2019t totally nail, versus all that you have done and did nail!<\/p>\n<p>Many women can be exceptionally self-critical; often far harder on themselves than on anyone else. If you relate, you\u2019re not alone.\u00a0In fact, you\u2019re in the company of a legion of amazing women who often feel they don\u2019t measure up on some parameter.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/GhfWwfdfJSw\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s face it, we live in a society that bombards us 24\/7 with messages, urging us to live up to idealised images of success, brilliance, beauty and &#8216;got-it-all-togetherness&#8217;. And while most women intellectually understand that no one can be at their best all the time, we are masters at using our fallen moments as a baton to beat up on ourselves. (If you\u2019re a working mother, double it!).<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s why the best self-help must always begin with self-compassion; accepting that no matter how hard we may try to be forever generous-spirited or brave-hearted or \u2018insert-virtue-here\u2019, we will inevitably fall short.<\/p>\n<p><strong>And that\u2019s okay.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Research\u00a0has found that\u00a0it\u2019s not self-esteem or optimism that helps people handle life\u2019s challenges best, it\u2019s self-compassion.\u00a0As counter-intuitive as it may sound, when we are kinder to ourselves, embracing our fallibility and accepting our flaws, we don\u2019t lower the bar and retreat to our couch to binge on ice cream. In fact, just the opposite! We expand our capacity for action, deepen our connections and recover faster from hardships and heartaches.<\/p>\n<p>So if you often feel like you are not measuring up and have grown a little (or a lot) jaded by the endless advice on how to be your best self, my best advice (yes, no irony lost there) is to [inlinetweet prefix=&#8221;&#8221; tweeter=&#8221;margiewarrell&#8221; suffix=&#8221;&#8221;]cut yourself some slack, get off your own back and give yourself permission to be fabulous and fallible, innately worthy and wholly imperfect[\/inlinetweet]\u2026. all at the same time!<\/p>\n<p>My last six months have been fertile ground for practicing self-compassion and embracing my own fallibility. During that time, I\u2019ve packed up my life in Australia\u2014teenage children in tow\u2014and replanted in Singapore. Let me assure you, I\u2019ve had more than my usual share of fallen and \u2018uncomposed\u2019 moments where I\u2019ve felt anything but my best self.<\/p>\n<p>Yet, as challenging as some days have been (and there\u2019s been many), I\u2019ve come to appreciate that our greatest growth and deepest fulfillment doesn\u2019t flow from the parts of us that are flawless or the times when life is easy. Rather, it flows from the parts of us that we\u2019ve been wrestling with our entire life; the vulnerable parts that dial up a notch or ten when plans go awry or life presses in on us (like moving country with teens). It is embracing our raw moments that make us real, relatable and allow us to forge the most authentic connections with others.<\/p>\n<p>Life has taught me that\u00a0we are not so much human <em>beings<\/em> as human <em>becomings<\/em>. It\u2019s in the space of giving up on perfection that we open a window to a deeper dimension of living in which we can experience more moments of genuine joy, connection, gratitude and fulfillment.<\/p>\n<p>Just imagine what possibilities could open up for you if, every day (or just as often as you can manage it), you stepped out into the world with the deep knowing that you don\u2019t have to be more or less of anything in order to be enough \u2014 to be ready enough, good enough, successful enough, smart enough, worthy enough.<\/p>\n<p>Imagine, if instead of continually striving to be the woman you think you should be, you embraced the innate adequacy of the woman you already are?<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/ojE0B6n0IRY\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>As the most pressing problems in our world seem to grow larger and we get behind the call to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.internationalwomensday.com\/PressforProgress\">#PressForProgress<\/a>, it\u2019s vital that we women stop talking ourselves down and waiting until we feel we are ready enough, deserving enough, brave enough, worthy enough, before we dare to try.\u00a0Because, as I wrote in <a href=\"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/book\/make-your-mark\/\">Make Your Mark: A Guidebook for the Brave Hearted<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;It is by being as kind to ourselves as we are to others that we can liberate ourselves of the perpetual need to impress or prove or please and unlock our potential to make our unique mark in our workplace and the world.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>So this International Women\u2019s Day (and every day thereafter) &#8211; [inlinetweet prefix=&#8221;&#8221; tweeter=&#8221;margiewarrell&#8221; suffix=&#8221;&#8221;]dare to engage in the world around you from a place of sufficiency and worthiness[\/inlinetweet]. Because when you embrace your humanity and choose to show up as the <strong>flawsome\u00a0human becoming<\/strong> that you are, you give other women permission to do the same.<\/p>\n<p>What greater gift there is?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I arrived back from an incredible few days in Tokyo with Google to kick off their Womenwill program. The mission of Womenwill is to elevate women around the world and leverage the technology to inspire and empower women economically and socially. Of course, there are many factors\u2014like inflexible workplace policies, unconscious bias and entrenched gender [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16794,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12,14,16],"tags":[84,142,184,218,234,423,501,509,520,792,805,977,1050,1083,1120],"class_list":["post-16793","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-live-passionately","category-women-rising","tag-attitude","tag-bravery","tag-change","tag-confidence","tag-courage","tag-goals","tag-inspiration","tag-international-womens-day","tag-iwd","tag-pressforprogress","tag-purpose","tag-success","tag-trust","tag-vision","tag-womenwill"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16793","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16793"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16793\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16794"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16793"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16793"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16793"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}