{"id":15878,"date":"2017-07-02T16:13:27","date_gmt":"2017-07-02T06:13:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/margiev2.websitereboot.com.au\/?p=15878"},"modified":"2017-07-02T16:13:27","modified_gmt":"2017-07-02T06:13:27","slug":"impostor-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/impostor-syndrome\/","title":{"rendered":"Conquer Impostor Syndrome"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Leanne was recently promoted to head fashion buyer for an international clothing chain. When I rang to wish her congratulations, the first words out of her mouth were, \u201cI\u2019m just waiting for them to realize they made a mistake; that I don\u2019t know near as much as they think I do.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a sentiment I\u2019ve heard (and felt!) many times before. It\u2019s driven by a nagging fear of being \u201cfound out\u201d as not as smart or talented or deserving or experienced or (fill in the blank) as people think.<\/p>\n<p>Impostor syndrome is a term coined by a psychologist back in the \u201970s to describe this phenomenon where, despite external evidence of their competence, people feel intrinsically unworthy of their success and afraid others will eventually realize they don\u2019t deserve it.<\/p>\n<p>Acclaimed novelist Maya Angelou once said, \u201cI have written 11 books, but each time I think, Uh oh, they\u2019re going to find out now. I\u2019ve run a game on everybody, and they\u2019re going to find me out.\u201d Having penned four books myself, I know just how she feels. Sure, I\u2019ve worked hard, but I\u2019m always so acutely aware of how much I don\u2019t know and how much better my writing would be if I\u2019d truly mastered my craft. (The fact that my kids revel in pointing out my grammatical mistakes doesn\u2019t help much!)<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/5zWl5DdiNTI\" width=\"560\" height=\"314\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>If you ever wrestle with a quiet fear of being unmasked as an impostor, I hope these suggestions will help you own your success and get that little fear monkey off your back. It\u2019s a fraud.<\/p>\n<p>Which brings me to why it\u2019s so important to be vigilant about not selling ourselves short by continually focusing on what we haven\u2019t done or are yet to master, and too little on what we have.<\/p>\n<h3>1. Own your success; don\u2019t minimize it.<\/h3>\n<p>\u201cI thought it was a fluke,\u201d said actor Jodie Foster of her Oscar. \u201cI was afraid I\u2019d have to give it back.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Attributing success to luck is a common feature of those who struggle with the impostor syndrome. Particularly women, who have tendency to chalk up their good fortune to a helping hand or lucky break, whereas men are more likely to attribute it to a combination of internal factors, such as grit, talent or ability.<\/p>\n<p>Impostor syndrome tends to be the domain of high achievers who are wired to focus more on what they haven\u2019t done than on what they have. So if you tend to be a go-getter, give yourself a minute to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments up to now. It\u2019s not only good for self-confidence, it\u2019s good for the soul.<\/p>\n<p>Minimizing your success doesn\u2019t serve anyone. If you sometimes feel undeserving, get out a pen and paper and write a list of all that you\u2019ve done just over the last 12 months. I would hazard a guess that even attempting to record how much you\u2019ve done will help you realize that you\u2019ve earned every bit of the success, influence and respect you enjoy.<\/p>\n<h3>2. Stop with the comparisons.<\/h3>\n<p>When I was invited to spend a week on Necker Island with Richard Branson and a host of successful entrepreneurs, I spent the first two days waiting for someone to realize I was there by mistake. And then, after an illuminating conversation with Marianne Williamson, I had an epiphany. We\u2019re not all made to be like Richard Branson nor would it serve the world if we were. Each of us has a unique mark to make on the world, and when we are caught up comparing ourselves to others, it only leaves us feeling less than or not enough in some way and diminishes our capacity to make the impact we alone can make.<\/p>\n<p>The fact is, most of your comparisons are unfair because you have a tendency to compare\u2026<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Your weaknesses to others\u2019 strengths<\/li>\n<li>Your insides to others\u2019 outsides<\/li>\n<li>Where you are now starting out against someone who\u2019s been in the game far longer<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>As I write in Make Your Mark: A Guidebook for the Brave Hearted, \u201cComparing yourself is a race you\u2019ll never win. Don\u2019t get caught up focusing on the gifts or good luck of others. Focus only on making the most of your own.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>3. Focus on the value you bring, not on being perfect.<\/h3>\n<p>If you are someone who isn\u2019t willing to settle for mediocrity, more power to you. But there\u2019s a distinct difference between giving your best and being the best; between trying to better yourself and being better than everyone else on the entire planet. All 7 billion of them. One is focused on how you can improve the world; the other is about your ego.<\/p>\n<p>The truth is that you don\u2019t have to have Michelangelo-like mastery or have Einstein\u2019s IQ to provide value for others or be worthy of your success, plus any accolades you receive along the way. Focus on adding as much value as you can, not on scaling some arbitrary bar of perfectionism that leaves you forever striving, never arriving and only feeling perpetually inadequate.<\/p>\n<h3>4. Risk outright exposure.<\/h3>\n<p>Fear of being found out can dial down our ambitions and cause us to stick to whatever we know we already do well. It\u2019s less risky that way. But while playing safe can provide the short-term illusion of safety, over the long run, it can only leave you less secure and deprive you of ever knowing just how capable and more than adequate you truly are.<\/p>\n<p>Sure, it takes guts to pursue a bold dream with no guarantee of success. When you refuse to let fear of being found out sit in the driver\u2019s seat, you open the door to discover new strengths, grow existing ones and build your own brand of brilliance.<\/p>\n<p>No one else has the same combination of skills, talents, passions and hard-won wisdom as you. Likewise, you are here to make a mark that no one else can. But you\u2019ll only do it when you can embrace your one-of-a-kind brilliance and focus on running your own best race. In the process, you will come to realize that the only impostor you\u2019ve ever had to worry about is the fear that seeks to take up residence in your head.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Leanne was recently promoted to head fashion buyer for an international clothing chain. When I rang to wish her congratulations, the first words out of her mouth were, \u201cI\u2019m just waiting for them to realize they made a mistake; that I don\u2019t know near as much as they think I do.\u201d It\u2019s a sentiment I\u2019ve [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":16044,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[14,17],"tags":[142,208,218,234,377,423,563,628,852,871,894,903,964,977],"class_list":["post-15878","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-live-passionately","category-courage-at-work","tag-bravery","tag-comfort-zone","tag-confidence","tag-courage","tag-fear","tag-goals","tag-leadership","tag-margie-warrell","tag-resilience","tag-risk-taking","tag-self-doubt","tag-self-confidence","tag-stop-playing-safe","tag-success"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15878","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15878"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15878\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16044"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15878"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15878"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15878"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}