{"id":15413,"date":"2017-03-06T14:41:11","date_gmt":"2017-03-06T03:41:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/margiev2.websitereboot.com.au\/?p=15413"},"modified":"2017-03-06T14:41:11","modified_gmt":"2017-03-06T03:41:11","slug":"women-bold-change","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/women-bold-change\/","title":{"rendered":"Women: Be Bold For Change!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Happy International Women&#8217;s Day!<\/p>\n<p>We are women. Hear us roar.<\/p>\n<p>Some days.<\/p>\n<p>Other days, not so much.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, there\u2019s a lot of days that we spend a large majority of time second guessing our decisions, questioning our value, beating ourselves up or talking ourselves down.<\/p>\n<p>Too many actually.<\/p>\n<p>I know this to be true because not only have I spent far too much time doing it myself but nearly every day I talk to other women who are doing the same.<\/p>\n<p>We work so hard to do a great job and keep people happy and scale the high bar we set for ourselves yet we continually feel like we\u2019re falling short on some measure; that we\u2019re just not \u2018enough\u2019 in some way.<\/p>\n<p>Smart enough.<br \/>\nAccomplished enough.<br \/>\nOrganised enough.<br \/>\nStrong enough.<br \/>\nDisciplined enough.<br \/>\nAssertive enough.<br \/>\nThoughtful enough.<br \/>\nStrategic enough.<br \/>\nPresent enough.<br \/>\nMasterful enough.<\/p>\n<p>We spin plates. We juggle balls. We move mountains. Yet there\u2019s often a little voice in our heads critiquing what we haven\u2019t yet done or didn\u2019t do\u2026 not well enough anyway.<\/p>\n<p>In my\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/margiewarrell\/videos\/10154143982990388\/\">Facebook Live video message<\/a> this morning I shared how it&#8217;s my experience that we women, as fabulous and amazing as we are, tend to\u00a0doubt ourselves\u00a0too much and back ourselves\u00a0too little. Certainly less than the equally wonderful men we work, raise and share our lives with.<\/p>\n<p>As Kathy Calvin, President and CEO of the United Nations Foundation, shared with me during our conversation at UNF Headquarters, of all the barriers that women still have to deal with in the workplace and the world, the biggest one is in our own heads.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe women hold ourselves back. We think we aren&#8217;t experienced enough when in fact we are,\u201d she said to me as she shared how she has overcome her own personal wrestling match with self-doubt over the years.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/thsHOSy0ua4\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>Firstly, <strong>we think we don\u2019t have enough qualifications.<\/strong> Where a man will apply for a job if he thinks he has 3 out of 10 requirements, a woman won\u2019t put herself forward unless she has at least seven (if not all ten). Oprah\u2019s recent comments about having never considered running for President because she\u2019d never held public office are a great example. She was right, she has never held a position of elected power. But neither had the current President until now. I doubt very much that Donald Trump\u2019s lack of experience as an elected official was ever more than a passing consideration.<\/p>\n<p>Secondly, <strong>we hold back from putting ourselves forward for fear of ruffling feathers or losing face.<\/strong> As natural caretakers, we\u2019re loathe to hurt feelings or come across as too pushy or forceful. So too often we decide to say nothing. It feels safer and in the short term it is, but it also keeps us from sharing the value we have to bring or addressing the issues that need to be discussed.<\/p>\n<p>And thirdly, <strong>we let our fear of not being \u2018enough\u2019 keep us from putting ourselves \u2018out there\u2019<\/strong> where we run the risk of being uncovered as a fraud. It\u2019s what drives the impostor syndrome: our inability to own our value and internalize our accomplishments. It fuels an irrational anxiety that at some point other people will cotton on to the fact that we\u2019re not as skilled, clever or deserving of our success.<\/p>\n<p>The message to <strong>#BeBoldForChange<\/strong> is one you\u2019ve likely already seen this International Women\u2019s Day. Yet changing the world around us begins with changing the world within us. So, as you look toward your future, to what it is you want to accomplish in the year to come and who you want to be for the people around you, I encourage you to begin with making the simple decision that you will be a little bolder in what you do and say.<\/p>\n<p>Below are <strong>ten ways you can be bolder<\/strong>. Pick three that you\u2019ll do this week.<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Ask for what you want<\/strong>. That\u2019s right, it\u2019s simple enough but let\u2019s face it, too often we dilute what we ask for or don\u2019t ask at all for fear of seeming needy or being rejected. But as I\u2019ve written before, how can you expect to get what you want if you\u2019re not willing to ask for it. <a href=\"http:\/\/rawcourage.tv\/learn-how-to-ask-for-what-you-want-no-more-hinting\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Here\u2019s a video to help you do just that<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Say no<\/strong>. It\u2019s a short little word but it\u2019s one may women struggle to say because we know the person who\u2019s extended the invitation or offer doesn\u2019t want to hear it. But if you\u2019re ever going to do what you really want to do you\u2019ll often have to say no to good things to create space for great ones. Here\u2019s a <a href=\"https:\/\/my.margiewarrell.com\/how-to-say-no\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">free video course I made for you to help you along<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Push back<\/strong>. Yes, you\u2019re a nice person and you\u2019re loathe to appear difficult but the truth is that if all you ever do is agree and go along to get along\u2019 then sometimes you\u2019re selling yourself short. Way short. Pushing back isn\u2019t about being pushy. It\u2019s just owning your right to see things differently to others. Sure women can get called bossy or bitchy for simply speaking their truth but that doesn\u2019t mean you shouldn\u2019t! Being bold for change is all about risking a little push back for a cause that\u2019s bigger than your own comfort. <a href=\"http:\/\/rawcourage.tv\/are-you-too-agreeable-stand-your-ground-push-back\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Here\u2019s a video to watch if you need a little help<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. Own your worth<\/strong>. Next time you\u2019re talking about what you do, talk about it in a powerful way that lets people know you see the value in what you do (even if they have yet to realize it). Too often our fear of seeming like we are bragging keeps us from talking about what we\u2019re up to. Time to own it! If you ever struggle with self-promotion, <a href=\"http:\/\/rawcourage.tv\/hate-self-promotion-promote-yourself-without-bragging\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u2019s a video for you<\/a>!<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. Risk rejection<\/strong>. It\u2019s not rejection you\u2019re afraid of, it\u2019s how you will feel because of what you make it mean\u2026 a personal inadequacy on your part; evidence that you are \u2018less than worthy\u2019 in some way. It doesn\u2019t mean that at all. The truth is you need to risk a lot of rejections if you want to get ahead in your business, career and life. If you\u2019re still licking a wound from a previous rejection, <a href=\"http:\/\/rawcourage.tv\/been-rejected-how-to-handle-it-better\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">watch this<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/jHOTqfSTl9E\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>6. Own your difference<\/strong>. We all like to belong to a group but too often we let our fear of disapproval keep us from expressing who we really are and owning what makes us different. So don\u2019t dial yourself down for fear of standing out. Just be 100% of whoever it is you truly are. As I wrote in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.forbes.com\/sites\/margiewarrell\/2017\/02\/18\/is-your-professional-mask-limiting-the-quality-of-your-relationships\/#870e2a75b835\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">this recent Forbes column<\/a>, \u201cWhen all you do is try to fit in and conform, all you offer is conformity. It\u2019s what sets you apart from others that makes you interesting.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>7. Take a risk<\/strong>. Women are naturally more cautious than men. It\u2019s why women are far less likely to engage in high risks sports or suffer spinal injuries. We don\u2019t get the same buzz from going fast as men. Yet we can often be more reticent to take the very risks that would enable us to get ahead. As I wrote in <a href=\"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/books\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Brave<\/a>, if there\u2019s something you\u2019d really love to do or change, embrace the discomfort of risk taking and just do it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>8. Ditch all guilt<\/strong>. Some guilt is healthy. Like if you haven\u2019t paid your taxes or you\u2019ve done something that\u2019s violated a core value and leaves you out of integrity with yourself. More often though our guilt is driven by social norms and rules that we\u2019ve unwittingly bought into. If you\u2019re a working mother, you\u2019ll know all about that. But here\u2019s the deal, how can you teach your kids to go out and pursue their dreams if you aren\u2019t pursuing yours? You can\u2019t! Or not with any credibility anyway.<\/p>\n<p>So lay all the \u2018shoulds\u2019 to the side and ask yourself, what is it that you would love to do so much that you know even if it pulls you away from your kids more often than you\u2019d like,\u00a0you know that they (as well as you) will ultimately be better off because you\u2019ve done it? If you\u2019re still struggling, <a href=\"https:\/\/my.margiewarrell.com\/how-to-say-no\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">here\u2019s a recent free download I created for you<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>9. Expand your tribe<\/strong>. The more people who know who you are, what you can do and what you\u2019d love to do more of, the more people who can help you get there. So think about who it is that you\u2019d love to build a relationship with and find a way to connect with them.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10. Challenge your story<\/strong>. You live in an intricate web of stories about who you are, about what you can do and, just as importantly, what you can\u2019t. Your stories are the truth but they have the power to shape your life. So if you\u2019ve been telling yourself a story that you\u2019re too old, too young or that you\u2019re not \u2018enough of something\u2019 try telling yourself another one and see what possibilities open up for you. <a href=\"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/whats-your-story\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Here\u2019s an article I wrote to with 5 steps to help you do just that<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Time to lean in and lead don&#8217;t you reckon?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Happy International Women&#8217;s Day! We are women. Hear us roar. Some days. Other days, not so much. In fact, there\u2019s a lot of days that we spend a large majority of time second guessing our decisions, questioning our value, beating ourselves up or talking ourselves down. Too many actually. I know this to be true [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15414,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12,16],"tags":[22,23,26,39,84,120,184,218,234,501,545,563,628,859,894,947,977],"class_list":["post-15413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","category-women-rising","tag-beboldforchange","tag-iwd17","tag-womensday","tag-action","tag-attitude","tag-bold","tag-change","tag-confidence","tag-courage","tag-inspiration","tag-kathy-calvin","tag-leadership","tag-margie-warrell","tag-responsibility","tag-self-doubt","tag-speak-bravely","tag-success"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15413","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15413"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15413\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15414"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15413"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15413"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15413"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}