Not long ago a woman in her 40s approached me after a speaking at her company\u2019s annual conference to ask my advice on how to have a \u2018courageous conversation\u2019 with a colleague. After our conversation she said, \u201cBefore we talked I\u2019d been quite intimidated by you. I guess I shouldn\u2019t have been.\u201d<\/p>\n
Of course I like to think of myself as approachable and unintimidating. However over the years I\u2019ve learnt that when people feel intimidated, it\u2019s often got nothing to do with the person they\u2019re intimidated by, and plenty to do with the story they\u2019ve created about them and who they are in relation to them.<\/p>\n
I remember back in my 20s feeling very intimidated by Bob, the national marketing manager with the oil company where I began my (first) career. It wasn\u2019t that Bob did anything to intimidate me. In fact he was always quite friendly. Rather it was simply that he seemed so important compared to \u2018little ole me.\u2019<\/p>\n
As I shared in the video below, while there are people in the world who have power, talent, fame, or fortune that you don\u2019t, none of that makes them any \u2018better\u2019, or more worthy, than you. When you own that truth, live from that truth, and connect from that truth, everyone is better off.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s four ways to help you do just that.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t prejudge people<\/strong> Don\u2019t put them on a pedestal<\/strong> Stand tall in your own worth<\/strong> Expect people to like you<\/strong>
\nThe stories you tell yourself about people (yourself included) may not be the truth but they can undermine your ability to connect and communicate with people. So often we make assumptions about what other people think, that are completely false. Yet those assumptions can derail our\u00a0ability to talk to them, much less forge rewarding relationships. Engaging with people from the assumptions of ‘they are better than me’ or\u00a0\u201cthey don’t have time for the likes of me\u201d can exact a steep toll \u2013 to our careers, business, relationships and our happiness over all.<\/p>\n
\nLast year I had the extraordinary opportunity to spend five days with Richard Branson during which I was invited to interview him (you can read the blog here.) While it would be easy to put the founder of one of the world\u2019s most iconic brands on a pedestal I knew that this would only undermine my interaction with him. Sure, he\u2019s a brilliant businessman, extraordinary leader and all round pretty cool guy, but engaging with him as another human being (rather than an entrepreneurs demi-God!) enabled me to have fun as we talked about his life journey so far. So while there\u2019s nothing wrong with admiring people greatly, it\u2019s important not to treat anyone as more human than yourself.<\/p>\n
\nHow you hold yourself physically impacts not only your psychology, but your physiology. So put a quiet smile on your face, stand tall in your worth, and hold yourself as every bit as worthy as anyone else. If you\u2019re feeling nervous about walking into a meeting with powerful people, take a few deep breaths and adjust your posture, expression and body into that of someone who is intimidated by no-one. Your way of being, speaks far more loudly than words ever can.<\/p>\n
\nWhatever you project out to others is generally what you attract back. If you expect people not to notice you or think you aren\u2019t particularly talented or someone worth knowing, then chances are they probably will do just that. At the very least, you won\u2019t make near the impression on them that you\u2019d like. However when you step into conversations with people from a place of self-love and self-worth, you\u2019ll find people are value you more highly than they would otherwise. Confident people win the confidence of people.<\/p>\n