{"id":10422,"date":"2016-09-10T18:00:57","date_gmt":"2016-09-10T22:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/margiewarrellold.flywheelsites.com\/?p=10422"},"modified":"2016-09-10T18:00:57","modified_gmt":"2016-09-10T22:00:57","slug":"how-to-raise-brave-girls","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/margiewarrell.com\/how-to-raise-brave-girls\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Raise Brave Girls"},"content":{"rendered":"

On my 40th<\/sup> birthday my daughter Maddy, 10 at the time, gave me a handcrafted birthday voucher on which she wrote:<\/p>\n

\u201cThis vowcher lets you be my gest at the Oscars when I am nomnated for best actres.\u201d<\/p>\n

(I figured she stood more chance of that than winning the national spelling bee!)<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve tucked it away for safe keeping until that day arrives. And if it doesn\u2019t, that\u2019s okay too. I just love that she wasn\u2019t afraid to dream so big.<\/p>\n

Too often, somewhere between wearing tiaras and leaving school we women\u00a0dial down our dreams and reset our sights as the realities of the \u2018real\u2019 world crush in on us. The hurdles are higher, the competition tougher and the disappointments bigger.\u00a0 <\/span>Sticking with goals that minimize the sting of rejection and risk of failure seems like the better, less painful, option.<\/p>\n

But it never is.\u00a0<\/span>And it never will be. And if you have a daughter, there\u2019s nothing more important you can do to enable her to thrive in life than helping her grow into the bravest version of the woman she has it in her to be.\u00a0<\/span>Here\u2019s six ways I believe you can do just that.<\/p>\n

1. Encourage her to dream big<\/b><\/p>\n

I was only a little older than Maddy, growing up on a dairy farm in rural Australia, when I told my parents I wanted to a journalist, like the ones on 60 Minutes<\/i>.\u00a0<\/span>My mother said I didn\u2019t read the newspaper enough. It was true. It only occurred to me years later that we never got one.<\/p>\n

While we each walk a different path to parenthood, we must all be careful not to let our own experiences, including our disappointments, hurts and unmet aspirations, dampen the ambitions of our daughters.\u00a0<\/span>Sure, not everyone will be the next Cate Blanchet or Hilary Clinton, but better to aim high and fall short than to risk our daughters one day looking back on their lives and wondering \u2018What if?\u2019<\/p>\n

\n

Better to aim high and fall short than to risk our daughters<\/strong>
\n one day looking back on their lives and wondering \u2018What if?\u2019.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

2. Embolden her to take risks<\/b><\/p>\n

Each of my three sons has had at least one broken bone (one of them has had three!) My daughter, like me, hasn\u2019t had one.\u00a0<\/span>I\u2019ll admit it\u2019s a limited data set, but it\u2019s also good a reflection of how boys and girls differ: boys are physically rougher and more comfortable taking risks.<\/p>\n

You could argue girls are simply \u2018more sensible,\u2019 sparing us the gray hairs we get watching our sons hurtle down hills on their skate boards and bikes – \u201cLook mom, no hands!\u201d\u00a0<\/span>But while boys are more partial to stitches and plaster casts, by adulthood they\u2019re often also more resilient when knocked down, more comfortable exiting their comfort zone and more adept at taking risks \u2013 and not just physical risks, but psychological ones. This gives them an edge in business and life because let\u2019s face it, everything worthwhile demands risk of some sort.<\/p>\n

Research validates this. Despite our daughters doing better at school and university relative to our sons, once they get into the workplace women are less confident, more cautious and less likely to:<\/p>\n

    \n
  • Pursue stretch roles<\/li>\n
  • Challenge authority<\/li>\n
  • Negotiate salary or conditions<\/li>\n
  • Promote themselves, or ask for a promotion<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    All of these things require risk in some way \u2013 of risking rejection, criticism, looking foolish, falling short, or outright failure.\u00a0<\/span>Which is why giving your daughter a gentle push outside her comfort zone can sometimes be the most loving thing you can do for her because it helps her to realize she can do more than she think while building self-confidence to handle bigger challenges.\u00a0 <\/span>Protecting her from the pain of failure or sting of rejection doesn\u2019t set her up to thrive in the bigger game of life, it deprives her from acquiring the skills to live it well.<\/p>\n

    3. Teach her to speak bravely, even if she gets called bossy <\/b><\/p>\n

    Facebook CFO Sheryl Sandberg believes we should #BanBossy, but, while I love her Lean In message, on this count, I think she has it wrong. We need to encourage our daughters to embrace bossy, not ban it. As the CEO of the United Nations Foundation, Kathy Calvin, shared with me in this interview below, we need to own our right to have an opinion and not let others discount its value.<\/p>\n