I said thank you for the coffee, walked back to the piano and felt a little snubbed. Normally we’d have a very friendly chat. What if I hadn’t wanted coffee today…or water for that matter? And why had he given me a straw? Oh yes, I bet it was because I leave my lipstick on the rim of the glass, honestly!

I sat at the piano feeling a little irritated and thought, “suit yourself, Mr Busy!”

Then, very soon as I began to calm as I played and sang, I reflected on what had really happened. I quickly realised my default setting had come to bite me on the bum….again. The pain I felt because the barman didn’t like me. Real pain that had been lying around in my body for donkey’s years.
I thought of you and how I would love to swap your small problem lying by a pool with only a naked man floating about. How lovely. Then I somehow became mindful and was able to replace my reaction to a response. I realised that of course we all have our own paths to walk and this is mine. I want everybody to like me and I know they can’t or won’t, especially as a musician! (I did also revert to my empathy for your own situation by the way!)

I thought of my journey through life and my intention to heal this default setting of wanting…needing everyone to like me. I realised that that evening there had been a shift in my healing, in my perception.
It was okay if he didn’t like me, it was okay if someone else did not like me. A few moments later the barman returned with a flask of cold water and put it down by my side. He looked at me briefly smiling as I sung and said quietly “this is for later.”

I smiled after his show of warmth and suddenly remembered why he had given me a straw. I had told him the week before how much I’d enjoyed drinking out of one after so many years. I also realised that the reason he was busy was because he was also responsible for the drinks in the restaurant.
I knew I had learned a valuable lesson. I knew I’d continue to meet people who don’t like me or I think don’t in my haste.
I will try to respond in future and not react.

And then ……….as I had this moment of realisation, I was unable to shed the tears bottling up because I was singing. Then I heard a strange musical kind of noise and I realised even though I had switched my notifications off, it doesn’t switch any alarm off…which I had set twice a day, 1 o’clock in the afternoon and …….eight o’clock in the evening which it just happened to be! When it rings, my phone says “I love myself right now.”

When I finished singing that song, I continued to play but had a little cry to myself and a smile. Then I was able to offer big, big gratitude to the Universe who always has my back and a big, big smile of gratitude and thanks to you Margie whose story was the catalyst to move myself forward another step nearer to the greatest version of myself.

Thank you so much Margie. Don’t you just love life’s little “coincidences”!

We really do teach what we most need to learn, don’t we. I love the fact that you have shared this, thank you. I do know some women in some countries will wonder what is wrong with a naked man? But would run a mile from situations you would be able to face head on.

I’m not married Margie and don’t hang around men who put jewellery here there and everywhere. I’d be inclined to say, they would remove it to go swimming but who knows? Maybe he was genuinely using your bathroom for the right reasons. You said he was undressing outside, maybe putting his swimming stuff on inside? I firmly believe our amazing Universe sends the right lessons to the right people.

Have you ever said “fine” when everything in you wanted to say “no”?
Yes Margie, for around 50 years!!

Or maybe you did what I didn’t—and braved an awkward moment to protect your peace or power? If so, what helped you do it?
Same answer, around 50 years of saying “fine” but then some brilliant counselling. I am now a counsellor myself and while I’m still breathing, I guess I will continue to struggle with some things. One of my tutors calls me “a recovering pleaser.” The college talked about fine and said it was “fu**ed up on the interior, neat on the exterior,” Yep!

I think for me, it’s the gap between reaction and response. With some experiences, it can be seconds, with others, it’s days but honesty is huge for me so I will take a few deep breaths, get out of my comfort zone and say what I need to say….kindly. If there were medicine for that I would buy the company!

Sharing your experience will warm people to you I believe and importantly, warm the real you to you as well.
Thanks once again,

Sending my love and gratitude
Mandy x

I think offering you a complimentary return not 50% was hugely generous. I hope you choose to go back and who knows the same man or someone else may come along and you’re able to say, “I’m here till 11 o’clock thanks. Could you come back please?”