Comments on: Do you care too much about what others think?

By: Aileen

Aileen — Wed, 23 Apr 2014 20:57:41 +0000

Thank you so much. I needed this – I rarely speak my mind, except with very close friends, and have trouble saying no, so therefore I have no time for myself and am totally tied up doing all sorts of things that I’d really not be doing. I will now try to think of myself a bit more and not what others would think of me.

Aileen

By: Katie King

Katie King — Wed, 23 Apr 2014 16:00:10 +0000

Bravo Margie, be true to yourself and your unique message. You will only make a difference if you continue to be the individual you are!

By: Sonia Bali

Sonia Bali — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 13:25:34 +0000

I was truly zapped with your article. It happens to us almost every minute of our life that we remain busy living the life people want to see us playing and we completely forget our true self. I think any minute deviating our attention from what we want or wish to do can only land us miserable in life. I think it is a great reminder to me to start living life from the window of my own beliefs and values rather that from others.

By: Josephine

Josephine — Fri, 28 Mar 2014 13:48:17 +0000

Hello Margie , I must tell you, your words really are a god sent and I can really identify with what you are saying here. After loyally working for the same company for over 20 years, I have learnt the hard way about “being too nice”. I have literally assisted many many people to forge their way up in their careers to the detriment of my own. Only now that I am a little older can I see my mistakes. We’ll I guess it’s never too late to be more assertive tho, and reading your email certainly helps me feel stronger. Thank you Margie, love Jo x

By: Margie Warrell

Margie Warrell — Thu, 27 Mar 2014 01:24:30 +0000

In reply to Kylie Fuller. You are so RIGHT Kylie- you can still be a lovely person without giving away your power. WELL SAID! :)

By: Margie Warrell

Margie Warrell — Thu, 27 Mar 2014 01:23:05 +0000

In reply to Sean Spence. Thanks for your comment Sean. I love the irony that when we stop trying to be liked we ultimately become more likeable! :)

By: Margie Warrell

Margie Warrell — Thu, 27 Mar 2014 01:21:48 +0000

In reply to Katie King. You are so right. There are people who have decided they don't like us regardless of what we do. And there are people who will find reason to criticise everything. So hence, the Dr Suess comment! :)

By: Margie Warrell

Margie Warrell — Thu, 27 Mar 2014 01:20:01 +0000

In reply to Kenya Rahming. Hi Kenya, So glad it hit home for you. Obviously when it comes to decisions in our career, we need to seek advice and mentoring. We need to consider how we are being perceived and what others will think of our actions. Not doing so would be foolish. But we also need to be sure we don't do something we don't have our heart in, just because others think it would be good for us. Hope you gtake some time to sit still and get present to what you truly' want. Also be sure its not your fear of moving into management that is keeping you from going that direction.

By: Kenya Rahming

Kenya Rahming — Thu, 27 Mar 2014 01:16:19 +0000

Hello Ms. Warrell,

Your email couldn’t have come at a better time. I was literally in tears before I read your email. I’m at the point of my career where I need to decide whether I want to get into management. I’ve met with mentors, whose input I value and who hold positions that I aspire to. They tell me what they recommend, but at the same time they say “only if that’s what you want – it’s up to you.” I want to be who I am and forge my own path, but I feel like if I don’t go along with their expectations, I’ll lose their respect. I also feel like if I go my own way, I won’t be as successful or it will take me longer to advance. I know everyone’s career path is different.

Please forgive my rambling, I’m just at an emotional point in my life and not sure what I want to do.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Ms. Kenya Rahming

P.S. I’m reading your book “Find Your Courage” 🙂

By: Sean Spence

Sean Spence — Wed, 26 Mar 2014 23:49:18 +0000

Years ago (at about the same stage as your contact was at) I got 100% for ‘needing to be liked’ in my firm’s profiling exercise. Looking back, I can see why I was in that state. But the firm was clear – a) ‘needing’ didn’t guarantee ‘being’ liked! b) it meant that this detracted from giving the clients tough feedback and c) it also meant not fighting in the firm’s corner while looking after my own needs.
I still like to be liked! But there are bigger issues at play in professional work and it is in the service of those bigger issues (client success, for example) that we have to put aside the need.
This doesn’t detract from the power of ‘likeability’ in ensuring the communication channel is open. My clients know that if they get something tough from me, it’s in service of the bigger issue.
Of course this was a long and expensive lesson to learn!